Your Child May Have to Go to Court - Fears as a Parent
Perhaps the biggest thing that parents fear with regard to their child being abused or witnessing abuse is the possibility of him or her having to testify in court. We recognize that this whole experience is very difficult for you and your family.

Activity 1:Fears you may experience
Download a worksheet:Supporting Your Child in Court

Many parents report having some of the following feelings:
Fear
Distress
Betrayal
Anger
Disbelief
Emotional numbness
Blame
Panic
Loss of control
Disbelief
Denial of the incident

These are typical feelings for parents who have learned that their child has been abused or harmed in some way. These are valid emotions and you may feel that you are on a rollercoaster of different feelings throughout the whole process.

You will be feeling anxious and concerned that the court process itself may further victimize your child and expose him or her to additional trauma. Remember that feelings can be contagious and that your child may mirror how you are feeling. Try to be positive and supportive in the child's presence.

So what do you do with your own feelings of worry and concern? Recognize that if you are to be strong and helpful to your child, you must also find your own source of support. Be sure to find a caring person with whom you can share your fears and anxiety, while making sure that your children are not within earshot. This may be a partner, friend or a professional counselor.

Try not to express anger about the accused when your child is around. Once again, there are other adults with which to share your frustration.

Realize that for some children court does not have to be a negative process & in fact for some it can even be a positive experience. Some children feel a sense of control and empowerment when they can relate the incident in court. Testifying can give them a way of putting the whole incident behind them & it can provide closure for both the child and family.

Many children, with the loving support of their parents, are very resilient. Most are able to develop skills to cope with this experience and can carry on with their normal emotional growth and development. Children need to know that you will expect that they will be fine and are hopeful for that outcome.

If your child requires assistance to in coping, there are many effective therapists who can assist them in doing so.

Research shows that the support and belief by parents of the child is the single biggest factor in a child getting through the court process with minimal disturbance and contributing to the child's positive adjustment in the future.

Remember that there are no guarantees about the outcome of a court process. You must be prepared personally for the possibility that you will disagree with the result. Be prepared to handle this anger or disappointment in such a way that your child will not be impacted by your reactions. On the day of court, your child will depend on you to praise their courage in testifying and to support them emotionally. It is important that you meet the needs of your child immediately. Once again, if you need assistance in dealing with the outcome, it is important to confide in your support person when your child is not there.